Being proud
Pride is one of the original sins in most cultures, I guess. But still, I think there are areas of pride that seem more acceptable than others. Let’s explore the various things we could be proud of, and where they fit into the spectrum.
Generally speaking, pride for things that you are endowed with, is frowned upon. That is, things like beauty, or inheritance of wealth. The exception to this are “intellect” and “willpower/discipline” — You are allowed to be proud of them. Aren’t you endowed with or wired (before you were born, or who you were born to, the environment you were raised in etc.) for those, too? Somewhere in the middle are things like having a good voice, athleticism, ability to dance etc.
Another dimension is the pride based on ‘association’ Vs pride based on ‘achievement’. You aren’t allowed to feel pride based on ‘association’, but you are allowed to, based on ‘achievement’.
Within ‘association’, some seem terrible, like pride based on your gender, race, but others are appreciated, like being proud of your nationality or language. Somewhere in the middle are areas like family, religion, caste/class, employer, school etc. In the area of “family, school etc.”, sure you can feel proud, but you also have the pressure of doing things which will make them proud in turn. There are expectations set in within.
Exploiting the thing you are proud of, is yet another facet of this to think through. You are allowed to exploit the intellect, do well in school, work and achieve things. You are allowed to exploit your ability to control your senses, be disciplined, and do well in life. Not only are you allowed, you will be praised.
But if you exploit your beauty and do well in life (say like a model/actor), that isn’t considered as good. You should have acting skills also to move to the territory of being praised. Worse, you are considered immoral (or whatever is the opposite of virtuous). Example: Abdul Razzaq’s comments on Aishwarya. Even pageants like Miss World notionally consider ‘intellect’, ‘compassion’ blah as part of their evaluation, which is probably why we all remember Mother Teresas of the world, at least once a year.
Exploiting your family is interesting — It seems to have morphed over the years. From being expected, to being accepted, to being tolerated, now it is frowned upon, or even considered illegal. Apparently, Benjamin Franklin used his powers to get the postal system contracts for his son, but that wasn’t any bad then. Now, that would be nepotism and even challenged in the courts. So, you can be proud of your family, but if you use that connection to get something, you don’t gain any points.
So, what’s the point of it all? Nothing. Just a set of thoughts to keep in mind when you feel proud about something. Was it in your nature, or were you nurtured into it, or did you work to achieve it? Are you proud of being associated with something? Or because you achieved it through your work? In any case, how did your nature/nurture/endowment help you with whatever work you did to achieve it?
On this subject, here’s a whole interview to ponder:
Your mother’s socio-economic status at the time of your birth. Whether your ancestors raised crops or led camels through the desert. The smell of the room you’re in when you’re making a decision — all of these things, says neuroscientist Robert Sapolsky, combine to affect your behavior, as well as everything in between.
PS:: If that “smell of the room when you’re making a decision” part interested you, may like this old post:
Reader homework: Being proud of others appears to be OK than being proud of oneself. Find out why. Vicarious living, where parents live through their children, might be one dimension of this.
